First Parish Sermon

In the course of our growing up we’ve all had to struggle with the fact that each of us is different from everybody else. When we were young we feared being made fun of, thought weird or strange, by our peers and classmates. And so we did everything we could to be like others, wear the same clothes, talk the same lingo, or we did the opposite, and tried to be as different from the crowd as we could be. As adults we still struggle with the tension of sameness and difference. In the UU Church we try our best to help our young people and one another be accepting of different ages and lifestyles, race and gender, sexual orientation, and social and religious beliefs. We try to teach self-respect and respect of others, or as Jesus taught, to love your neighbor as yourself. We don’t always succeed by any stretch of the imagination, but we try to make this attitude the bedrock of any curriculum we teach.

As for people who think they see dead people, some of my best friends are mediums and psychics, and some of them, believe it or not, are members of UU churches. They may seem weird and different to others, but we can all learn something from those who are different, even people who think they see dead people. And as for dead people, who don’t know they’re dead, I have met those who are spiritually dead and don’t know it. But I also believe, as did our Universalist forbears, in the possibility of spiritual renewal both here and hereafter. They called it universal salvation. 

Which brings me to one of my favorite movies from this past summer, “Disney’s The Kid”, also starring Bruce Willis and another child actor, Spencer Breslin. As film critic Roger Ebert has noted, “If ‘The Sixth Sense’ was about a kid who keeps seeing dead people, this one is about a 40 year old guy who is dead inside and keeps seeing a kid”, a pudgy kid who turns out to be himself when he was eight years old. Bruce Willis (alias Russ Duritz) is a media image consultant who deals with surface impressions of self and others. He has lost touch with his own depths and has forgotten the kid he once was but who still lives in the labyrinths of his soul. He has become a mean savvy rude and cynical man who lives only for himself. 

Rusty the boy and Russ the man eye one another suspiciously. Russ the man does not want to remember that he was once “a pudgy little pushover” who dreamed of flying, loved dogs, but a real loser when it came to defending himself from bullies and rabble rousers. He has since become smooth and svelte and abrasive and wants nothing to do with the winsome, tender and naïve part of himself that he once was. Rusty the boy, on the other hand, is horrified to see what he has become. He quizzes Russ about his life and is shocked to learn that he lives alone and doesn’t even have a dog. Rusty exclaims: “No dog? I grow up  to be a guy with no dog? I’m 40, I’m not married. I don’t fly jets and I don’t have a dog. I grow up to be a loser!” 

Well, eventually the man helps the boy to become a better boy, and the boy helps the man to become a better man. Somehow they return to the past together and Russ helps Rusty to change the outcome of a fight he has with some other kids. This time Rusty the kid finds the courage and strength to overcome his tormentors, while Russ the man finally comes to terms with the death and loss of his mother and the alienation from his father. The end of the movie finds the boy and the man together at the local airport where they meet Russ’s wiser older self who presents them with the gift of a beautiful red propeller driven plane, a full-size replica of a toy version he had as a boy. And yes, Russ gets married and has a dog. Past self, present self and future self embrace one another, break old patterns and learn to fly free as boy and man.

All of us to a greater or lesser extent lose touch with the innocence and joy of childhood and find ourselves weighed down with a world-weary cynicism. We need to find ways to keep in touch and welcome the kid in all of us lest we become hardened cynics before our time. That is why it is so important that we support and maintain a vital and active religious education program for both children and adults. We have learned that we are never too old to grow in religious thought and conscience. By welcoming the children in our midst we welcome the kid in all of us, and together we can learn to fly free as girl and boy, woman and man.

Let me ask you, if like Russ and Rusty, there was something you could change in your past what might it be? An accident, a serious mistake, a failed relationship, the death or loss of a friend or loved one? Be careful what you would change because you might change some of the lessons learned and the good things that later happened because of that past mishap. If you could somehow communicate with your younger self knowing what you know today, what would you tell yourself? You might say, we’re gonna make some mistakes along the way, you and I, but I want you to know that we’re going to survive and make the best of what life has dealt us. I’m sorry I lost touch with your hopes and dreams and wishes, but I will try to recapture some of the enthusiasm of my youth and make them part of my future self. I also want you to know that some of your fears and anxieties are still with me, but we learn to live with them and try to find meaning and satisfaction in the good things that have happened. What matters more than anything else is that we never let go of the belief that we are always and forever worthy of love and respect. If we can love and respect ourselves we can do the same with others.

There are many lessons, I think, in this light hearted movie about the kid in all of us who comes back to remind us of who we were and what we have forgotten and need to come to terms with. It applies to our spiritual and religious lives as much as to our personal lives. You have recently had a change in ministries with the resignation and marriage of your former minister, Kim Wood, who was with you for a period of four years. I am sure there are mixed feelings among you of sadness, regret, anger, gladness and relief about the ending of her ministry. She accomplished many good things in her four years among you. She made a positive impact on both children and adults. Many of you will miss her a great deal. But not everyone was equally pleased with her ministry. That’s the way it is with every ministry. Ministers are only human and we can never please all of the people all of the time. I have had some conversations with Kim. She intends to keep her connection to the UU ministry perhaps through a community ministry of some kind as she devotes herself to marriage and a family for a few years, and then may consider coming back into a parish ministry at a later date. Let us wish her well and pray for her well being and success in whatever endeavors she pursues.

Perhaps Kim’s leaving reminds you of some of the past ministers who have served this church in the living memory of the congregation. Some of you will remember, others will not, the ministries of Bruce Clary, Ed Robbins, Erling Duus, James Sikes, Hugh Weston, Charlie Flagg, Shuma Chakravarty, and Bob Miller. I remember Bruce Clary when he came to Bridgewater in 1965-67. I was just starting out in Middleboro and recall coming to his installation service and feeling proud to be part of this new and glorious profession of Unitarian ministry. I got married the year Bruce left Bridgewater and two years later I went to Norwell. I  did not know Ed or Erling, or Jim or Hugh very well, but I certainly knew Charlie Flagg who stayed longer than any of them,16 years. Shuma was with you only one year, but she was the first woman minister to serve your parish before Kim. 

Perhaps the ghosts of these ministries past still haunt the psyches and souls of some among you. There were no doubt many joys and fond memories of these past ministries, as well as some still lingering sorrows, grief and regrets. The past is always present even as we move into the future. I know that Bob Miller was deeply appreciated by many of you  during his two-year interim ministry some 5 to 6 years ago. His recent death no doubt sharpens your thoughts and memories of his ministry. We are planning to have a special remembrance of Bob’s ministry during a morning service sometime in the near future. We are forever learning to say hello and goodbye to one another in this business of ministry, in this business of life and living.

We are young, we are old, we are somewhere in between. We are embarked upon a journey called life whose beginning and ending are shrouded in mystery. Somewhere along the way we lose touch with one another across the generations—the old forgetting what it was like to be young—the young not realizing they are meeting themselves in the faces of the old. Here may we discover that we have need of one another, that together we can celebrate the journey, building a bridge across the generations, building a healing bridge across the gulf of life and death. If we can welcome the kid in all of us, I kid you not, there is no limit to what you may yet become as a church and a congregation. May it be so. Amen.